I don't belong here

2 Samuel 9 paints a beautiful picture. It is mentioned more than once that Mephibosheth is crippled in both feet after being dropped as a young boy. I imagine that did not place him very high in social settings. Even though he wasn't worthy (by cultural standards) of sitting at the king's table, the king brought him in anyway.

Carried to the Table
Leeland Mooring

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Oh how I long to dine at the King's table, if only to be in His presence. I don't belong there. This sinful, broken, rejected woman doesn't deserve to even sit outside the city gates. Yet, he invites me. He welcomes me. He doesn't see all of the things that make me feel unworthy of being there. He sees what he created me for. He sees his purposed for me and the potential he has placed in me to accomplish it. He sees me though the blood of his Son.

And in His presence, all of my imperfections are erased. In His presence I no longer am aware of myself. I am only aware Him and His unexplainable, unending, unconditional love for me. And all is well.

More than I can Handle

"Don't worry. God won't give you more than you can handle."

I hear that a lot. It's a great sentiment. It's comforting. It's soothing. It's reassuring. And it's wrong.

Most people use 1 Corinthians 10:13 to support this thinking. If you read it carefully, you will see that this verse is talking about temptation, not trials.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

I believe God lets more come at us than we can handle on our own. If he didn't would we really need him? Would we learn to depend on him if we were capable in our own power? I'm thinking Goliath was more than David could handle. Pharaoh was more that Moses wanted to handle, not to mention leading an entire nation through the desert. Not sure Joshua could have taken on Jericho with divine intervention. Gideon and his mighty army of 300 men probably thought taking on the Midianites was a crazy idea. Job lost everything - seems like too much to me. And Mary? Let's just say being responsible for God's only Son could be a huge source of anxiety and seem like a ridiculous task. The storm was way too much for the disciples to handle - good thing God was with them. Don't get me started on Paul; he faced way more than any man could handle.

Each of these people had 2 things in common: An impossible task and confidence in God's promises. So it should be with us. We are not alone. We don't have to face anything alone. God promised, and we should trust in those promises.

So, when you are tempted, look for a way out - it's there - and if all else fails, do what Joseph did and RUN! When your giant looks huge, the army too vast, the task too heavy, the fight impossible, the pain unbearble, remember nothing is impossible with our God. He is with you and the battle belongs to Him.

In the Right Place

I had this whole post all figured out until I started to do a little research. Did you know there's no such thing as a seagull? I didn't. I've always called those annoying birds in parking lots seagulls, but that's just some kind of nickname. Regardless of their true name (you can look here if you are really interested), I don't like them. They make a mess of parking lots, they don't get out of the way, and why aren't they at the lake anyway? Aren't they supposed to be diving for fish in the sea or something? No wait, they aren't seagulls. Maybe they are parkinglotgulls. Have I mentioned I don't like them?

Something changed in my opinion of these creatures this past weekend. I took a half day off work, got in my car, and drove. I went west and stopped right before I hit the water. It was a nice, sunny day, a bit cool with a breeze. I walked out on a pier and there they were - those crazy gulls. Flying out over the water... and it was beautiful! I sat and watched them for a long time.

There's something about seeing them do what they were created to do in the place they were intended to do it. I don't know, maybe it was the long drive or the anticipation of the sunset, but it really was a beautiful sight.

I wonder, how many of us are hanging out in parking lots when we should be soaring out over the water. Are you in the place God wants you, or are you in the place where you are comfortable and safe? Are you doing what you've always known or are you stepping out in faith to let God use you to do something only He can accomplish? Is it obvious to those around that you where you in the right place, or do you look like a seagull in a parking lot?

Sure I'll pray for you. But...

Prayer hasn't been one of my strongest attributes.

I get a lot of prayer requests - so many people are hurting, whether physically, mentally or spiritually, or some combination of those. I have to admit: I get lazy sometimes. I'll say some quick "meet all their needs" prayer, without really listening to the Holy Spirit's prompting, and then not think about it again. I know God knows what each person needs, but when I say I'm going to pray about something, I should do it, wholeheartedly.

So I made some changes recently.

It's so easy to get into the habit of writing down the prayer requests from people and simply asking God to answer their specific request. Would that be wrong? No. It's what they asked for. But I find lately that it isn't enough. Sometimes, what someone is asking for isn't what they really need. If you ask for healing in your body, I may also pray for healing in your spirit. If you ask for success in your job, I may also pray for a deeper relationship with the Father so that the success of this world is not what you seek after. If you ask for clarity, I may also pray that you will trust God has a plan and wants you to be a part of it. If you ask for your circumstances to be changed, I may also pray that you be changed from the inside out and that you become a catalyst to change your environment. "We cry out to God and ask Him to heal our land, to heal our circumstances, to heal our finances. But before He can do any of that, He must heal our hearts." -Adam Cooke

Let me clarify that I do not suggest to know what someone needs. But the Holy Spirit does. And it's important to remember to listen for His guidance as we pray, both for ourselves and for others.

Sometimes, it would bother me when I would hear (or see online) one ask for prayer, and another respond, "I prayed for you", or my favorite "Done". Now that done is not a "consider it done" but a "I did, now on to my next task". Then I remembered, I do that. When we ask, we should continue to ask, like this, or like this. Paul tell us to pray continually.

I was at work a couple of weeks ago and I had just turned on some music. A song I hadn't heard in a while came on called Pray by Kendall Payne. I remember this song challenging me when I first heard it. Right after it started, I got a text message:

Pray.

As I listened to the words of the song, I prayed for my friend. It didn't matter that I didn't know what they needed. It didn't matter that I wasn't with them to help them get through whatever they were experiencing. They didn't need me. They needed a touch from the Father. So I prayed. And I kept praying.

Check out these words.

Pray
by Kendall Payne

I will pray for you now, for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn't not ask for more than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me

May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down around your feet

May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater every stride
May your company be of human insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride

What you do unto others may it all be done to you
May you meet the One who made us
And see Him smile when life is through

May your blessings be many but not what you hoped they'd be
And when you look upon the broken
May mercy show you what you could not see

May you never be sure of any plans you desire
But you'd learn to trust the plan He has for you
May your passions be tried and tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life for what is true

I have prayed for you now all my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on I'll long to see you once again
Until then, would you pray these prayers for me?

Oh, that you would pray for me

So, go ahead. Ask me to pray for you.

Conquering Your Greatest Fear

If someone asks you the question...

What is your greatest fear?

... what goes through your mind?

At a women's ministry gathering not long ago, we got into small groups and shared our greatest fears with each other, then pray. While it was a bit uncomfortable, I willingly shared my greatest fear, as did the other 4 people in our little circle. We then prayed to release those fears to God and live a fearless life.

We gathered, we prayed, some were set free from those fears, some of which were irrational, some were caused by deep wounds, some were new fears, brought on by recent events.

Now here's where my head took over. As I released my greatest fear (which was being alone - not in a "someone's gonna get me" kind of way, but in a "growing old and having no one to love on this earth" kind of way) and laid it at the foot of the cross, it occurred to me that the concept of something being greatest indicates that it's not the only, but just the biggest or scariest or most significant. That means there are other fears.

The beauty in conquering your greatest fear is that there is a new greatest fear to be conquered.

And it becomes easier.