Thoughts are always running around in my head. Some of them are from me, some are the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention.
Some of them escape out of my mouth. I'm not always sure if I actually said them out loud or not, so I'm writing them down.
As far as I can tell, goodbyes are never easy. They may be good sometimes but they are never easy.
This morning I said goodbye to an old friend. We depended on each other for a long time. There were very few days we didn't spend time together - only when one of us was sick or I was out of town for work. We planned to spend our next vacation together. We traveled together. We took kids to and from church. We helped friends and family move, and even moved together once.
It's funny how we get attached to our stuff. I'm amazed at how quickly and easily it can be replaced, many times with very little thought of it again.
You may have been beat up a bit, but maybe that's why we got along. I'll miss your sun roof, your hatchback with lots of cargo space, your roof rack (even though I never used it), and I'll miss your missing mirror. Rest well, wherever you go. Goodbye old friend.
Today, I got my first letter from my Compassion kid in Uganda. His name is Victory. What a great name! His actual name is Twesigyemukama Victory. Let's all say that together. Twi.. twes... twees.. tweyseeg... uh... I think I'll stick with calling him Victory.
Part of the letter (which is a form they fill out if they are able, and he is able) is to add some drawings, which I have included here.
Here's what he wrote:
Dear my beloved friend Karen, Praise God Thank you For choosing me to be your Friend. I hope God will keep us alive and our frien dship last. God bless you.
I typed it just like he wrote it so the line break is supposed to be there. This makes perfect sense to me, but they also added a translation, which doesn't make much sense at all. Maybe one day Victory will be a translator, but right now he wants to be a mechanic.
You know, sometimes it seems like our friends are too busy or that they have forgotten us. I'm glad to know that I have a young friend in Uganda who hopes our friendship lasts. I hope so too, Victory.
The title of this could be either "Why the Love Boat Theme Song is in My Head" or "Road Map Through My Brain".
My head can be a scary place. Come, take a journey with me if you dare.
I woke up this morning after a somewhat restless night. I had a song in my head, which is pretty normal for when I wake up. The song was Follow You by Leeland.
That's not a bad way to wake up. Then, as I was thinking of these lyrics from the chorus:
I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the World.
I was reminded of a conversation I had a while back with a friend from the UK. We were talking about meeting someday in real life, and how we would like to visit each other's country. She said she wanted to travel to see the world. I said I wanted to travel to change the world.
As I thought of her words, this song came into my head (are you lost yet?):
Then, I remembered an episode of The Love Boat with Ethel Merman singing the first part of that song (I can't find proof of this, but in my head, that happened). So then, of course, I started to hum the Love Boat theme song.
It sure is hard to believe that another year has passed. As I reflect on the past year, at first glance it appears that nothing has changed.
But looking deeper, I realize a lot has changed. I'vemadesomeamazingnewfriends - a couple in particular come to mind who helped me through some rough patches.
There were things I wanted to do this year that didn't happen. That's my fault mostly. I did some things I didn't expect to do (like giving up Diet Coke - it's been 10 months - and reading the entire Bible).
While it feels like my circumstances haven't changed, I know I have. I learned a lot about who I am, and a bunch about who I am not.
I'm not going to go setting some lofty goals or resolutions that won't see the light of Monday morning. Instead, I'm going to look ahead with expectation that God is going to do amazing things in, around and through me.
18-19"Forget about what's happened;
don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
I don't know about you, but it hasn't felt like Christmas this year. I've been struggling to grasp on to the Christmas spirit, fa la la, silent night, deck the halls, and I got nothin'. No warm fuzzies, no desire to decorate or to listen to Christmas carols, much less sing them, and don't get me started on the shopping. I just don't think all that is what I should be focused on anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like Scrooge. I don't hate Christmas or the people who celebrate it - I want to be one of them. I don't want to be stingy - I want to give and give and give. I'm not Scrooge.
And I don't feel like the Grinch. I don't want to steal Christmas from anyone. I want everyone to feel blessed and loved at Christmas. I'm not the Grinch.
I do kind of feel like Charlie Brown... searching for meaning in a time when there seems to be so many distractions. His opening lines really sounded like my own thoughts as I watched A Charlie Brown Christmas this year...
To Linus: "I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed."
And later, to Lucy: "Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas. I just don't understand it. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down."
The trees, the gifts, the food, the decorations - there's nothing wrong with these things. But they tend to get in the way of the reason we Celebrate. Somewhere along the way, we got God's priorities mixed up with our own. I'm pretty sure it happened in the garden. But a gracious, merciful God came up with a pretty bizarre plan to fix that.
Driving home today I heard a story that again, reminded me of me. All of the preparations are just getting to me. It's time to slow down, remember as Linus told us, what Christmas is about, and see Christmas through the eyes of God.
The poem, called "A Christmas Story", can be downloaded at the link below - either the text or the audio version.
“More blessed to give than to receive, This is what My own should believe. But give the gifts that I hold as treasure: Love, joy, kindness…and in good measure.”
“Now remember these words at this time of year; Don’t conform to this world and My voice you will hear.”
Just like Scrooge, the Grinch and Charlie Brown, I've had my attitude adjusted... I'm expecting great things from Him - and not worried about what anyone else thinks.
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As far as I can tell, goodbyes are never easy. They may be good sometimes but they are never easy.
